Wednesday, May 4, 2016

currently // may


celebrating: my first Mother's Day! C keeps asking me what I want to do, but I don't really have a good answer. Some quality family downtime will be nice, and maybe I can sneak away for a pedicure... that certainly wouldn't be terrible.

reading: "The Distant Hours" by Kate Morton. I discovered this author when C bought me "The Lake House" for Valentine's Day. I liked her writing style very well, so sought out another of her books to read next. It's taking me a long time to work my way through (new mom = not much time for reading!) but I am enjoying it.

pondering: what mamas did before swings - I can't imagine life without ours! It's been a consistent "happy place" for the baby since day one.

sipping: lots of water, Mother's Milk tea, and blue Gatorade. The first two for obvious reasons, the last because I read online that it's also good for milk production. Seems kind of silly, but a little bit can't hurt!

going: to the lake at the end of the month! We have a wedding to attend that is closer to the lake house than our house, so we will stay there for the weekend. It will be the baby's third trip! We are loving exposing him to this fun aspect of our lives. There are so many memories to be made!

linking up with In Residence and Gold & Bloom!

Monday, April 25, 2016

Food Truck Fail

On Saturday, we went to the world's worst food truck festival. Seriously.

I had heard on the radio earlier in the week that there was a food truck radio and beer fest being held at a venue near our house, and mentioned to C that we should check it out. Come Saturday, we debated all morning whether to go or not because rain was supposed to start "in a half hour" (really, that was the forecast all morning) but in the end decided to go for it. We got dressed and packed up and headed for the venue. 

Now I swear that the ad on the radio stated that there was a $5 admission fee, which got you a sample of the food from every truck. Good deal, right? Well, the $5 admission price turned out to be correct. The free samples part did not. I'm still not entirely sure what my admission fee got me other than the ability to walk through the gate, because we were supposed to vote on our favorite truck and the best food, but also apparently expected to spend money on buying food from every truck. Umm. No thank you. I do have some semblance of a budget to maintain!

Turn out was very low, and the sparse crowd generally consisted of people wandering around looking confused. Given that I hadn't been able to find anything on the internet about this "event," I'm not surprised. That should have been my first sign to avoid it, probably. 

There were about 10 trucks dispersed through the area, offering a variety of menus that seemed ok in theory. None of the vendors seemed particularly interested in making their food or their truck very inviting - it didn't even really seem like they wanted to be there. Great marketing! We picked two trucks to try food from. One had wood fired pizzas (good, but probably not $15/pie good) and one had Brazilian-style grilled meats (a much better deal considering you got meat, rice, beans, salad, and a soda for $12) that was just ok. Bleh. 

Live music had been advertised, but the band stopped playing the minute we got there. The "beer fest" aspect of the affair was two local breweries with tents set up, selling beer in red solo cups. We tried one we were familiar with, and one we were not, which tasted vaguely of rubbing alcohol. I'm pretty sure C has made better beer in our basement. Sigh. Not so fest-y, after all. 

We awkwardly stood on the lawn to eat our lunch (other people had chairs, I wasn't prepared) trying to shield the baby from the sun and keep him entertained. It didn't take long before we decided to pack it in and call it quits. It was getting more depressing the longer we stood there!

On the bright side, we did have a family outing and get our butts off the couch for a bit. So not a complete failure of a Saturday, though I'm pretty sure I'm barred from planning the next adventure. 

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Postpartum Fitness (insert crazy laughter here)

Let's talk postpartum fitness. WAIT. Don't leave. Really.

More specifically, let's talk about a definite lack of postpartum fitness. Uh oh.

Lately, I've had several people ask me about what I'm doing to lose weight, and if I've been working out "all the time" because I hardly look like I had a baby. The answer to that is most definitely no, and I don't say that in a bragging way, I say it a little bit sheepishly. There is no exercise happening around these parts, my friends.

I'll be honest. I've lost all but about three pounds of baby weight. And I'm happy about that. But things are not as they seem, and the weight is not where I left it, if that makes sense. The number on the scale is about the same as it was pre-baby, but my body looks totally different these days. It's weird. And wiggly. Nice, right?

Here's the deal. I exercised all throughout my pregnancy...kind of. I skipped most of the first trimester because I was just SO TIRED, but once I got that second-trimester-energy-burst, I was back at it. I kept up with BodyPump and cardio (no running, because it just didn't feel good, but elliptical, treadmill walking, etc.) and continued working out in some capacity until about 38 weeks. I was pretty proud of myself, and even though I gained almost 40 pounds while pregnant, it never seemed like so much and I was pleased that I never "looked pregnant" anywhere but in my midsection. Yay, pregnancy fitness.

Then I delivered a baby via C-section and was completely knocked on my ass with recovery. Seriously, guys - a C-section is no joke. In fact, it is major abdominal surgery. (Who knew?!) It is awful. It literally never occurred to me that I might have a C-section versus a vaginal birth, and it certainly never crossed my mind that recovery from that surgery would be intensely painful and slow and hard. The whole thing pretty much sucked. I don't recommend it.

Apart from taking the baby for walks and pushing the stroller, I didn't do anything in the way of exercise for a full two months following delivery. I took it easy and worked on making sure I recovered well. Then, I was given the go-ahead for activity at 8 weeks postpartum by my doctor, with the advice to ease back into it and listen to my body. Wahoo! I was excited to get back into the groove. I downloaded the Couch-to-5k app. I went to a yoga class. I bought 5-pound weights and had my sister (a PE teacher) write out some workouts for me. I was ready to go!

And then those weights sat completely unused in my basement. The C25K app got moved into a folder of unused apps so it would stop taunting me. I never went back to the yoga studio.

I want to workout. But I just can't find the drive to actually do it. Every day there are about 1000 reasons why a workout, even a short one, just doesn't happen. Most of them are baby-related (duh). What's left is, I don't have a sports bra that actually fits. It's too cold / windy / rainy outside to run / walk. I'm too tired. And here's the truth, too: I don't like how my body feels right now. Things don't move the same way as they did before. I'm out of shape, my breastfeeding-boobs are out of control, my stomach is soft and jiggly, and my muscles are wimpy. It feels like I'm starting completely from square one with my fitness, and that's not a very nice feeling. It's discouraging. I worked hard for years to get to a place where I was happy with my body, and I was strong and confident. Pregnancy pretty much turned everything upside down in that arena, and now I "get" to start from the bottom. Awesome.

So it's easy to see why I've lost my fitness mojo, right? I know that it doesn't have to be all or nothing, and I can start to find ways to work a little bit of exercise in. I see all these other moms who are doing it (the "benefits" of social media, right?) It's just frustrating to think about starting again, and therefore I'm avoiding it. I push the thoughts of sweat from my head and  I opt instead to just sit on my squishy butt on the couch at the end of the day.

There's no real point to this other than to say, this is what life looks like right now. It's not how I expected it to be at this point, but really, nothing about pregnancy / birth / motherhood has been. Why should fitness be any different? This "season" of life is full of steep learning curves, I'm finding. What a surprise! (sarcasm.)

PS: I registered to run a five-mile race in the middle of May. I thought maybe that would inspire me to get moving. So far, not so much.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

currently // april

making: crockpot meals! All the meals I prepped before the baby came have REALLY come in handy, and it's so nice to be able to throw something in the crockpot once or twice a week and have dinner already taken care of.

wishlisting: some new work clothes. When I packed away my maternity clothes, I also cleaned out my closet of anything that was too old or just generally didn't fit well or make me feel good when I wore it, and that left me with surprisingly little in the work-wear department... Sigh.

cleaning: a little of everything. It's hard to get caught up, ever, with a baby around (shocker!) but we try to do a little here and there and keep up with things.

posting: more often, hopefully!

tasting: smoothies! I have been on a smoothie kick ever since having the baby, and have one almost every morning for breakfast. I include a scoop of Vega protein powder, and one smoothie holds me over til lunchtime (whenever that may be). Easy to make and easy to consume one-handed, which are basic requirements these days.

linking up with In Residence and Gold & Bloom!

Monday, April 4, 2016


A few weeks ago, C turned to me and said, "so, I guess the blog is dead, huh?"

Whoops. I insisted that is it, in fact, NOT dead, and I truly believe that. Obviously, things have changed in my life, and when life changes, my writing changes, but I can't imagine not having a space to put words to paper screen, at least some times. I can't make any promises or guarantees on what blogging looks like for me now, but I can promise that this little internet spot is not dead. It's not! I'm still here.

My maternity leave is officially over, and I'm returning to work and trying to find our new normal. We got into a pretty good pretty alright routine over the last three months, and it has given me major anxiety to think about changing that. I've always known that maternity-leave-life was a bubble, a blip in time, and not "real" life, so I didn't worry too much about getting too organized or settled, but I really felt like I was JUST starting to get the hang of being a mom when it came time to totally overhaul things. Womp. Now that we've come to the time where things are how they will be for the foreseeable future, we will work on finding a new routine, balancing marriage and parenthood and careers and pets and home ownership, and somewhere in there, I will fit my blogging. It's likely to be much sparser than before, but perhaps more real because of that. We shall see.

In other news and possibly more important news, we bought a king-size bed. That's always been a "some day" idea for us, but we bit the bullet and went shopping on Saturday. It was delivered yesterday, and last night was pretty much the best night's sleep I've gotten in 2016. Definitely worth the money. If you have a husband who's over 6 feet tall and likes to sleep like a starfish (granted, I sleep that way, too!), I highly recommend getting a giant bed. It's like an island, and I love it. Hashtag adulting.