Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Giving myself a break.

Last night, I did something that I find very, very difficult: I gave myself a break.

On a random Tuesday night, when I normally go to an abs + back class at the gym, and when I was planning to go for a good run since the weather was alright, I ended up doing neither of those things, and instead fell asleep on the couch at 9:15 PM. The falling asleep part is not incredibly unlike me. The skipping all workouts on a day I had them scheduled in my head is.

It wasn't easy. It was a mental fight for a long time. However, I think that, in the end, it was the best thing I could have done. Here's some background: usually, C & I ride the train to and from work together. We leave the house at the same time every day, and get home at the same time. I go to the gym at just about the same time each day. We eat dinner at approximately the same time every day. (I'm a creature of habit! and OCD tendencies. Whatev.) That's what I'm happy doing. Yesterday, though, was different. Yesterday, C had somewhere to be after work, and that involved him metro-ing out there, then metro-ing home, and he needed me to pick him up from the Metro station. Which is fine! I'm flexible. I don't mind doing that. So in my head, I planned that I would get home from work around 4:45, immediately head out for a run, and leave the house around 5:30 to pick him up around 6. Everything would have worked out great. But you know what they say: "the best laid plans...!"

He ended up realizing he would be ready to be picked up closer to 5:30. Which meant I really needed to leave the house as soon as I got home. Which meant I would be too late for the abs class, and it would be too dark to run by the time we got home. OK... I could still go to the gym, and do my own cardio or weights or something. That would have worked, too.

The thing was, after I picked C up, as we were sitting in traffic, I realized something. I was tired. I was getting progressively more cranky. A headache was developing right in the center of my forehead. And right as we pulled up to the house, I made the decision - I needed a night off. I granted myself permission, and I did what I think I actually needed to do last night: ordered dinner to be delivered (a salad!! but takeout, nonetheless), put on my sweatpants, and curled up on the couch under two blankets. Like I said before, I was asleep by 9:15.

Reflecting this morning, I don't regret the decision I made. It was hard to do last night. I have a tendency to feel very guilty if I skip a workout on a day that I have one "scheduled" (I don't feel guilty at all on my usual rest days, don't you worry!) - I'm pretty hard on myself, because I know that any workout is better than no workout, and I really have no excuse for not doing anything. But I know that last night, I did the things that I really needed to do, like snuggling with my husband and getting a little extra sleep. It wasn't easy, but giving myself just a little bit of a break was the right choice last night. And today, I'll get in a little extra exercise to make up for what I missed ;)

I can't be the only person who feels like this, right!? Tell me I'm not crazy. I just have a routine, and I prefer to stick to it! Like I said before... creature of habit. And addicted to endorphins! :)


Caitlin said...

You're not the only person! I'm the exact same way! I always feel guilty when I skip a workout I schedule, and I have to convince myself it's OK sometimes :) I guess that's the downside of being OCD :) yay for OCD-ers not-so-anonymous ;)

Lovingggg your blog!

Lindsay said...

Thanks, Caits! I know the benefits of rest and all that but sometimes my own head gets in the way of myself. What can ya do?? PS - you're my first-ever comment, obvi, and I feel like I should give you a giant hug. xoxo!

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