Thursday, March 20, 2014

Working out, cooking, and lady-things

So the other day, on snow day #81234 this winter, I find myself standing in front of our pantry, loudly whining that we "have no snacks in this damn house." (This is accurate - we have no snacks, and for good reason: C & I have both determined that we are snackers, and if there are snacks in the house, we will eat all the snacks. Best solution: do not have snacks in house. Works great, except for when a girl just wants a dang bag of salt and vinegar potato chips. Rawr.) Anywho. Back to standing in front of the pantry. Just as I'm about to resort to eating butterscotch chips straight from the bag, my darling husband swoops in to save the day. Next thing I know, he's standing over the stove, making me my very own homemade queso. Next-next thing I know, I'm standing over the island, shoveling tortilla chips and queso into my mouth like it's the last thing I will ever eat. It was exactly what my snacky little heart needed! Problem solved! Hooray husband! Best husband ever!!

I would be remiss if I did not mention to you that, as he stood stirring melty cheese, C was demanding that I take pictures and saying, "there better be a blog post about this. I want it in writing that I am the best husband ever!!" Be careful what you wish for, sir. Mwahahaha.

And now I will turn the spotlight over to Mr. "Best Husband Ever" (he really is great, I'm not being snarky!), so that he can provide some comic relief in the form of answers to everyone's favorite link-up, the Boys Behind the Blog with Stephanie & Mal. I am sure you are all eagerly anticipating his witty banter and male insight. Without further adieu...

1. What's your lucky number?

I'm not overly superstitious, so I don't necessarily have a "lucky" number. I wore #12 for high school football and had some success wearing it. I also wore #6 for flag football and we won a few championships, so I guess that's good. I don't know. I'm a little ambivalent towards luck. On one hand, I could get suuuuper excited on June 6 (OMG 6/6 what a day to be alive!!!!), but there's always an inevitable letdown. Birthdays, holidays, or whatever-you-want-days are pretty arbitrary. You could tell me that Christmas moved to next week, and I'd be like, "Well, shit. Better hop on Amazon because Lindsay's going to be piiiiiiiiissed if I don't come up with something good for Marchmas*." That's kind of the way I feel about lucky numbers. We, as a species, apply intrinsic value to arbitrary items (abstract or concrete), then fret over it. On the other hand, Prince changed his name to a G-D symbol, so what the hell do I know?

*Lindsay would NOT be pissed, that was just a funny. Now if I didn't get her a card? MURDERDEATH.

Photographic proof - 6 is always his number

2. Do you have a lucky charm?

See above. I don't really believe in lucky charms. That being said, I do believe in MOMENTUM. You know what I'm talking about if you like sports or competitions. "DON'T YOU DARE MOVE FROM YOUR SEAT OR EAT ONE MORE CHIP OR TALK OR DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE DOING WE'RE ABOUT TO WIN AND YOU'LL SCREW UP OUR KARMA YOU KARMA-SCREWER-UPPER." Obviously, I don't believe that anything I'm doing will change the outcome of a game, but it's fun to think that it will (ooooooh my team depends on me so much! It's like I'm one of them! Throw it to me!). I'm sure that this stems from my general belief that repetition leads to success, so if my team is successful, I should repeat what I was doing when we won. Or I'm crazy.

(Editor's note: this is accurate. It is not so bad that he has to wear the same underwear for every game, but it does involve not washing jerseys if his team wins while he wears it... until a certain wife sneakily gets it in the washing machine because that shit is gross.)

3. Do you fill out a bracket for March Madness? Who do you want to win?

Yes, I did. My company is offering a $250 gift card for the winner (FREE MONEY, NEWBZ), so I took almost 5 whole minutes to fill out a bracket. Brackets are annoying. People that go on and on and on and on and on about their brackets are worse. You know the guy (or gal). Here are your canned answers for this year (please read this in Ben Stine's voice):
  • Yes, that upset also hurt my bracket. I can't believe it happened. 
  • Another 12 seed beat a 5 seed. Wooooooow. That's 40 years in a row. I'm shocked. 
  • I also think it's fun to hate Duke and Coach Kryzoooooooski. 
  • I don't know if Rick Pitinio sold you your last car. 
  • Well, they did have 5 starters suspended for accepting a stick of gum from their tutors, so that could be why they lost. 
This blog is usually devoted to working out, cooking, and a whole bunch of lady-things, so I doubt most of those jokes hit home. Sorry about that. But I gotta get my rant on somewhere, and this is my soapbox.

(Editor's note: I did not fill out a bracket. My company offered a contest in which they very specifically offered no prize whatsoever, so what's the point? Also, I hope Boo-VA [I refuse to name it here] loses in the first round. So there. Go Hokies!)

4. March 10th is "Middle Name Pride Day." What's your middle name?

YES. This is THAT thing that I drop into conversations whenever I can. My middle name is Morgan (not that important). But I'm related to this guy (still not that important) who's related to THIS FREAKING GUY (very, very important). I have at least another 3.25 years to be BRO-ED out by this information before it's sad and I'll feel like the townie that still comes to partaaaaay on Friday nights.

5. Submit one question that would would like to see on a future The Boys Behind the Blog.

Wait. This is why we boys (MEN, damnit!) don't have blogs. We're reactors, not go-getters. If you allowed boys to ask the questions, you'd probably have 2 questions about cars, 5 how-to guides about deck building, 3 fantasy football football drafts, and 15 videos of people getting mauled by wild animals. We're uncivilized, ladies.

Never The Same Spice Twice


Kate @ Another Clean Slate said...

My brother's middle name is Morgan too :) And I definitely care more about cards than anything else!!

Amanda @ Marry Mint said...

Hahaha! Men and their jersey numbers... I love his answer to the last question. He is soooo right. Men are reactors for sure!

Amanda said...

Marchmas cracked me up! What a joker! And I love that he is related to Captain Morgan. I'd be proud of it too. x

Stephanie @ My Freckled Life said...

Bahahaha. Love this, as always. C cracks me up!