Friday, April 18, 2014

hard days

This has not been an easy week.

On Tuesday afternoon, my maternal grandfather passed away. It was rather sudden - he got sick, was hospitalized, and was gone in a matter of days. I am so very thankful for the fact that my mom had already scheduled a Spring Break trip to visit them and was on her way to be there when everything started to happen. She was able to be there for my grandpa's last few days, and also to be with my grandma the whole time. The stars seriously, seriously aligned on this one - I really can't even explain. My grandparents live on the coast of Oregon in a location that is not exactly easily accessible, and coordinating a trip out of the blue would have been difficult. My mom literally already had the plane tickets in hand when she needed them. Incredible. It has been a very rough week for our family, and especially my mama. It deeply hurts my heart that I wasn't able to be there, and that I haven't been able to help her through this.

This past Wednesday was the 7th anniversary of the incident at Virginia Tech, and while you'd think that seven years passing is enough time to make it easier to get through, it's really actually not. I struggle every year to try to find the right words to say, and I'm not sure I've ever really been successful. All you got from me this year was radio silence - between Tuesday and Wednesday, there were simply no words in me. The hole in my heart from that day, while slowly getting smaller, will likely always remain.

The month of April kind of sucks.

On the bright side (because there always is one - without darkness there cannot be light, right?), this week has served as a reminder that there are so many people in my life and my family's lives who love us. The cup of love has been over-flowing - from people offering prayers and support, to others reaching out to let me know they are thinking of me, to sweet friends who provide me with distractions in a time when I desperately need them. As luck would have it, C was out of town this week for a business trip, and I found myself faced with a dauntingly large bowl of emotions by myself. He felt terrible for not being around, and I felt terrible for being alone. Like I said, not an easy week. But between friends and coworkers and FaceTime with my family, I really felt the love this week. Love is really all you need.

So, sadness aside, I thought I'd use this opportunity to share a quick Five for Friday, of the little things that have helped me get through this week. In a time of loss and pain, it's important to see the beauty in the small, everyday things, and to just appreciate life, and I have been trying hard to do just that.

1 // my kitty, of course. He's been glued to my side all week, as if he can just tell that I need a companion. I wish I could read his little cat mind sometimes. He has brought joy this week just by being in the house with me (#crazycatladystatus)

2 // gelato. Stephanie was sweet enough to go out to dinner with me on Wednesday night, and we treated ourselves to both wine and dessert - because some days just call for both. Stephanie is a fellow Hokie, and her husband had some obligations Wednesday evening, and neither of us wanted to be alone. Perfect time for a girl's date! This homemade gelato at a local Italian restaurant was killer.

3 // treats. My coworker brought me a bag of goodies yesterday to help me eat my feelings (don't judge me). She knows how much I love Trader Joe's and how rarely I get to go to one. Her gift was much-appreciated (and delicious!!).

4 // a good book. I started reading What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty on Monday, and it has been a great way to keep my mind off of everything else. The story is easy to read and the plot is kind of fascinating, and it's just sucked me in. A welcome distraction.

5 // fresh flowers. A big bouquet of cheerful tulips has brought some life to the house, and the pop of color is lovely.

Happy Friday, y'all. I hope you take some time to enjoy living this weekend, to hug your family close, to tell someone you love them, to send a note to a friend. Be appreciative of this life you have - it's the only one you get.

linking up with the five on friday girls:  Darci, Christina, April,and Natasha


Em said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather :( my mom still isn't over my grandfather passing (her dad) and it's especially hard since she's always the super strong one in times like these. With all of your love and support, you guys will get through these hard times together and will only form a stronger family bond than ever before! As far as your kitty, ADORABLE. I have two little furbabies myself and I would always love to know what is going on in their little minds haha.

Stephanie @ My Freckled Life said...

I hope that your next week is better. Or that we just make it through April as fast as possible. But thank you for being there for ME on Wednesday too. Gelato and wine was exactly what was needed.

Caroline {Virginia Sweet} said...

Hey Lindsay! Thanks for stopping by and saying hi! I love your blog! My heart goes out to you during this time. My mother always told me "We are only given what we can handle" and those words stick by me close these days. Just breath and keep smiling. Happy Easter Love!

Kim @ BusyBod said...

So so sorry for your loss, especially during an already difficult time. One of my best law school friends is a Virginia Tech alum, so I've seen through her how difficult it is to remember each year. I'm glad you're finding beauty in the small things to help you through. <3

Lindsay @ Typically Late said...

Thank you, friend <3 Hopefully we can have another wine and gelato date without the world falling apart as a requirement!

Lindsay @ Typically Late said...

Thank you - it means a lot! I hope your friend did alright last week... it is hard every year, no matter how much time goes by.

Chelsea @ Chelsea Eats Treats said...

I'm so sorry for your loss :( I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!

Sometimes I say my dog absorbs all my bad feelings. Animals are so amazing; they seem to know exactly when we are feeling sad and need their love the most. I love them for that!

Anna said...

I am catching up on blogs at a slower pace these days, but am so sorry to hear about your loss Lindsay. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and wishing you comfort during this time.