Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Two Weeks In

Well hey there! Remember me? I'm alive and well and starting to recover from the intense "I have a newborn" haze that has enveloped us for the last two weeks! Two. Weeks. I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that it has been so long and yet so little time since our little guy was born. Two weeks already!


Seems like time for a quick brain dump, if only so I remember all these thoughts later.

Today is my very first day as a (temporary) stay-at-home mom. There is no one in the house but me and the baby, and I will be the first to admit that it is a little bit terrifying. C went back to work this morning, and there are no grandmas or sister-in-laws or friends stopping in to help today. (Tomorrow, though, and Thursday, luckily, I get grandmas!).  Just me and the tiny dictator today. I realize I will just do the exact same things I've been doing all day, but having to do it with no backup and no one in the house to reassure me that it's going ok is a bit daunting. 

C has turned into the most amazing daddy in absolutely no time. I always knew he would be great, but he has blown me away in the last two weeks. He handles everything so fantastically - both the baby, and me following major abdominal surgery (C section recovery is NO joke and it never occurred to me that I'd have to do it!). He has transitioned so smoothly to our new normal while I am fumbling along behind him trying to get both feet on the ground. I swear, I thought I loved him as much as possible before - my heart has grown a million times over. Sorry for the intense sap, but it's the truth. I am so lucky to have such a great teammate to raise this baby with.

Having a baby is NOTHING like I expected it to be. I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting, but this isn't it. It's so much better and so much harder and so much more tiring than I ever imagined. 

Post-partum hormones are one of the most insane things I have ever experienced. Never had I had the ability to cry at the drop of a hat like I did for the last week or so. Thankfully, that seems to have improved a bit in the last few days, but I'm still teetering on the edge. I never had crazy pregnancy hormones like some people do, but following the birth... Man. I was not prepared!

Breastfeeding - where to start? It is intuitive, in a way, and at the same time, so hard and unnatural for me. I'm sure I will get better at it with time, but for right now, every feeding session is a jumble of clothing and both hands are involved and I'm usually sweating by the time it's done. Sounds lovely, right? Add that to the list of things I thought I knew about but really didn't at all. 

We have such an incredible "village" that is going to help us raise this baby, and for that I am eternally grateful. I almost certainly have not thanked our parents, siblings, and friends enough for all they have done for us lately. Everything from bringing food to cleaning the house to doing laundry to just holding the baby while C and I rest - it's been all hands on deck and I am so appreciative of all the help we have at our fingertips. I know so many people don't have that type of support system, and I have no idea how I'd be managing this life-altering adjustment without all of our people. Thank you, to our people. Love you so much! 

I started Friday Night Lights as my breastfeeding / home all day entertainment. Why did I never watch this show before?! Why didn't anyone tell me to watch it? Sheesh. (C has been telling me for years. I finally listened.)

My goals for today were to take my thank you notes out to the mail box, eat all three meals, and shower, while keeping the baby happy, healthy, and fed. So far, I have been to the mailbox and eaten breakfast, and the baby is still sleeping. Wish me luck on the rest of the day! :) see you again... Some day. No guarantees anymore! The tiny dictator rules all over here. 

4 comments :

Stephanie @ My Freckled Life said...

SO precious!!! The first month is seriously the craziest experience you will ever have in your life, but it will start to feel normal, I promise. Same with breastfeeding and managing to actually get stuff done during the day with a tiny human. I swear! But for now, keep rocking it - you're doing an amazing job!

Also, OH MAN those post-partum hormones. Those first weeks around 7pm every single day I'd start crying for no reason. It actually became a joke. Because I promise you, once you get over the newborn hump, you will be able to look back and laugh at your brand new mommy self! :)

Brandy McCulley said...

Post partum hormones are the worst! When Jacob told me he was going back to work a few days earlier than expected since I "had it under control" I immediately started bawling. I was terrified to do it alone. Breast feeding will get easier, just use lots of lanolin and coconut oil. Good luck momma! You're doing great

Jamie Danielle said...

You guys are so lucky to have the help that you do. I know if I ever get pregnant, we have zero help since we live so far away from our families.
He's adorable 💙

The Girl who Loved to Write said...

I'm 11 days in and have the same feelings about breastfeeding...here's hoping it gets better!